back to basics

What does one do when everything you imagined in your minds eye turns around and says, sorry i am not playing your game? then runs off in another direction... do you give chase, follow this new path you did not want or do you simply stand there looking stupid, do you backpedal to the crossroads where things changed and with egg on your face and an embarressed smile ask to be accepted back into something you shunned only days before? Well being a firm believer of never doing anything I don't want to so I am left with 1 of 2 choices and i must say the thought of standing still looking stupid does not sound flattering at all so I am frantically backpedaling, the egg on my face is being flung off in all directions and the embarressed look on my face will soon be replaced by tears of joy and a smile that will take days to subside!

This whole week has brought me to the very important question of trust. wow, what a fickle world we live in, when the ones we choose to trust are usually the ones who end up dissapointing us and the ones we would not consider trusting usually end up surprising us with thier reliability. It is scary to trust someone, there are of course so many levels of trust, you have the friend who promises to feed yoour cat while you are away but then digs through your favourite cd collection and helps himself (of course only on loan) to your favourite Micheal Bolton cd, not that you miss it initially but sooner or later you have a Micheal Bolton moment (yes these do happen) and the cd is nowhere to be found. Your trust in this friend deminishes when you find mr Bolton discarded in a corner of his flat some months later. There is the Blind Trust we give to our friends and loved ones, Like the friends who promise you that when you hop on a plane and travel thousands of kilometers your dream job is there waiting for you, you have been buttered up and flying high in the realisation that finally things are looking up ant the world really is a just and fair place filled with enless abundance (which it is!) but your friends are less trustworthy than you give them credit for and the dream job happens to be a 6 month tour of s Sicily, not bad at first glance, but now like Sofia from the Golden Girls would say 'picture it! Sicily 2008: you are a clown in a small italian circus, living in a small caravan travelling through the remotest villiages, every 2 days you unpack your whole life, perform 1-2 shows doing 3 clown numbers per show (now dont forget the heat) we will make you drive the caravan yourself through the small winding streets, we will charge you for using our caravan, we will not be very friendly because you work for us! and then we pack everything up and go to the next village, not even thinking about simple things like taking a shower, or going to the loo (caravans have no running water!) All of a sudden my vision of the the Italian countryside is shattered and so is my trust in my friends. The third knid of trust is in the type of people who trully do love you unconditionally who will do anything even if it means then sacrificing things they have for you to be happy, this is the reason i am frantically backpedaling, high heels on, makup in hand and long blonde hair blowing in the wind!

Friends who you can really trust are hard to come by, they are a gift.